


Scariest day of my life

by Anonymous



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Again, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Childbirth, M/M, Maylor baby, Mpreg, difficult birth, pregnant Roger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 11:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17487587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Roger's (very) pregnant and there are some difficulties in the birth.This is "Happiest day of my life", but from Roger's point of view.Set in the same verse as Happiest day of my life (obviously), Lullaby, Baby blues and Sweeter than sweet.A bit angstier than the others, but I think it was important to know more about poor Roger's day.





	Scariest day of my life

Roger, despite being o terribly pregnant that it made most things impossible to do, was going to use this day to do all the not-Brian things that he wanted: he was going to drink apple juice from the box, he was going to read some car magazines and maybe even drum to drum a little. Even if he didn't fit in his usual drum kit anymore, he could still use some forks and a table, couldn't he? 

Of course, Brian was great and he had been an amazing support all through this pregnancy (Roger didn't know what state he would be in without the guitarist - he'd given him so much) and he was extremely glad to have someone like that through this whole ordeal. Brian was helpful, he was sweet and he had even managed to make Roger feel desirable now that he weighed like a million tons. Roger was really grateful to have a partner like that, who was so thoughtful and selfless, who would give up his hours of sleep to his to their very restless unborn child. He'd been really lucky with Brian. 

But still, sometimes he felt...He felt like this pregnancy and this baby had taken control of who he was, had taken over his entire identity. Like his personality wasn't Roger anymore, but simply pregnant person. He couldn't drink, he couldn't smoke and he couldn't play drums anymore and he felt... odd. A lot of the things he wanted to do he wasn't supposed to, because they weren't good for the baby. 

But he was more than a baby! He was a whole person, who was going through a lot. A lot of stress, a lot of insecurities, a lot of changes that he hadn't expected would affect him so much. This is for the baby, this other thing for the baby... What about him? What about doing things that were good for Roger? Didn't he have a right to enjoy himself and think about himself first? There were some people that didn't seem to see him anymore, they only saw his belly. 

Not Brian, though he had no complaint of him. Brian always made sure that he asked about Roger's day, about what he wanted to do, about how much they missed his drumming. But he also worried, and hovered, because he was a worrier and knew that Roger's condition was a bit delicate. And Brian's hovering didn't help Roger feel like a person and not just a pregnancy, not at all, no matter how well he meant. 

Also, being with Brian made Roger feel a bit guilty. Brian hadn't signed up for this whale of a person, hadn't signed up for all those mood swings and hormonal breakdowns, for a million doctor's appointments and sleepless nights... Brian, as well as him, deserved some time on his own, some time for himself and his books without being interrupted, as much as Roger did. Yes, today the pregnancy and the baby would be in the background and Roger and Brian would be allowed to exist. 

And if Roger wanted to sleep in late, then he would, and no restless baby would stop him (although he'd been quite still that night). In fact, it was past noon when he finally gave in and got up to finally pee. And this was only the beginning of a day of.... 

The worst cramp he'd ever felt went through him, and Roger doubled over in pain, holding his belly tightly. Then there was another one, and he screamed. Just as he was getting to the other side of the bedroom a flash of white hot pain exploded inside him. It hurt so very much that it brought tears to his eyes, and for a moment he was frozen, trying to figure out what was happening, what was causing this. 

Labour wasn't supposed to be this like this, it was supposed to start softer, like a bellyache, with contractions very far apart. Not this... horror. Another flash coursed through him, and he fell to his knees, suddenly feeling something coming down from between his legs. His trousers were now stained with blood, bright red, and a clear evidence that something was indeed, very wrong. He wasn't supposed to be bleeding like that, he knew, and the fact that with each contraction more blood was coming out and he was left feeling weaker didn't bode well for him, or his child. 

Roger desperately tried to reach the phone, to call Brian, or a hospital, anyone... But moving was out of the question. Every time he tried to move he felt dizzy, horrible, nauseous and weak. And there was more blood coming out, and he was afraid, so very afraid... He was going to lose this baby. He'd done something, maybe he just wasn't made for this, maybe it was something of his anatomy, but the situation felt quite desperate. The baby was too still, and it hurt too much, way too much. 

"Don't you dare leave me now.." He pleaded to the belly, tears falling freely now. "I need you... I need you alive..."

He felt horrible now that he'd wanted time for himself, that he'd wanted to me more than a baby. You got your wish, you idiotic drummer. Now there won't be a baby anymore. It hurt, and not just the physical pain (that was the absolute worst he'd ever felt, his stomach seemed to be on fire, and the pain was constant, only accentuated by those awful contractions) but the hurt of knowing that he'd failed his baby. His son was probably suffering, maybe even dying, and he was unable to even pick up the phone. 

Roger felt all his dreams slip away. His sweet boy with curly hair who was going to learn to sing and drum and would come to all their gigs. The image of Brian teaching the son about the stars, and the child, their child, looking at night sky in amazement. Their impetuous boy throwing food at them, throwing tantrums for everything. Tucking their baby in at night, singing their song. All of that, gone, after everything... And now there was only pain and blood. 

The contractions were almost on top of each, and Roger was feeling strangely light headed. The only thing keeping from passing out was his fear. He had to be awake to deliver the baby, didn't he? But he didn't know if he would make it. The pain was excruciating, his throat was raw from screaming, and he was alone, scared, and sitting on his own blood... 

"Rog?"

At least now Brian was here. 

"Brian."

The guitarist saw him and looked terrified but tried to be strong for his partner. Called the ambulance and kissed Roger's cold sweaty forehead. 

"They will be here in no time."

Maybe there was still hope, maybe they could save their son... But maybe there was nothing that could be done. Maybe their son was already dead. He was so scared and he told Brian, who was very comforting and uplifting despite the circumstances. 

Roger focused on Brian as he tried to breathe and stay awake through the next contractions. He focused on Brian's hand on his own, on his soothing voice, on his beautiful eyes. He was there, with him and if this was the last thing he was ever going to see... Then it was a good last sight. 

By the time the ambulance arrived he was nearly passed out from all that pain. His only focus was Brian's hand on his, that he held on to tightly when the contractions hit him. He was nearly unconscious he knew, and he suspected that there was something wrong with him, and not just with the baby. He hadn't wanted to die so young, he had wanted to play drums for many decades to come, he had wanted to see Queen become the greatest band of all... He had wanted to spend the next fifty years of his life with Brian. 

He just hoped that the baby would at least survive, so that Brian wasn't left so alone. He hoped his death wouldn't affect him too much... Brian would be strong for their son, he knew. And the next contraction came, and Roger couldn't hold on any longer. There was only darkness, but at least there was no more pain. 

*

When he opened his eyes Roger felt numb from the waist down. What had happened? Where was he?

"..My baby..." he uttered, still half conscious "...my baby!"

There were some hushed voices, some angry people saying something and the only thing that Roger heard was a female voice saying ".. I don't care, if there's any trouble say I permitted it. Now, bring this man his child."

They were going to bring him? That meant he was okay, right?"

He opened his eyes fully, tried to focus on the woman in front of him, possibly his doctor. 

"He's fine?"

"Your son is perfectly fine. You, we nearly lost in the operating table, but it seems that you're both fighters."

Roger breathed deeply, finally able to rest, to be happy, to allow himself a smile. He hadn't failed his baby. He'd brought him to the world. 

"There he is!"

The baby was small and peaceful as they put him in Roger's arms. He couldn't believe that this was the person that had been squirming around for so long inside him. He had Roger's blond hair, and looked like he had blue eyes when he opened them, but you could tell that his face was going to resemble Brian too. 

"I was so scared for you, my son.... But I'm so glad to meet you, even with the hell you've caused me...I love you more than anything."

(The doctor was crying now too. This case had been very difficult, and the others had been telling to establish time of death and give up on this man. But she'd persevered, and now this baby had both his parents, and that poor man on the waiting room, made a sea of tears, wouldn't have to mourn anyone. Some days she was really proud of her job, and her decisions)

When he reunited with Brian there were lots of kisses, lots of I love you's and Roger, despite being so weak and tired, was starting to go back to himself. Recovering himself, his life, his love, after that scare the nearly cost him his life. But now... it was going to be okay. He had his son, he had Brian (who seemed to have been crying for the last ten hours at least, the poor soul) and he was going to be able to carry out all those plans he had intended for their lovely little family. 

Roger smiled to the camera as John took their picture. 

With his son and Brian by his side, Roger wasn't afraid of anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments mean the world :)


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